Be Patient With The Girl Whose Heart Was Broken Before You Came Into Her Life

She is worth it, I promise.

You may or may not have heard her background story from friends. Maybe she mentioned to you that her last relationship didn’t end well. Or, maybe she didn’t have to say anything, but through her actions and attitude, you’re able to gather bits and pieces about her painful past. You know she’s an amazing girl and you know that you care about her, but you’re not sure if she’s entirely worth the extra effort you’re having to put into it all. What I’m asking you to do is this: be patient with the girl whose heart was broken before you came into her life. She’s worth it, I promise.

I know that you’re most likely having a harder time than most new couples would be having at this stage. In the new couple stage, you’re supposed to be getting to know all of the little things about each other that you didn't know before. It should be a time full of laughs, sleepovers, ice cream runs, spontaneous adventures, and new favorite shows on Netflix, not full of stubbornness, confusion, tears, or periods of silence. You're already having a hard time figuring out how your girlfriend is feeling, and that "butterflies whenever you see each other" phase isn't even over. Let me remind you: she is worth it.
She isn’t used to feeling good enough. She’s used to feeling insecure, used, replaceable, and worthless from how her ex treated her.
She isn’t used to getting flowers or little presents just because. She’s used to getting flowers after each time he had cheated on her.
She isn’t used to feeling like she can cry or break down in front of someone. She isn't used to feeling like she can honestly express or communicate how she is feeling without being judged or called emotional. She's used to pretending that she's alright so that no problems would arise from her feelings. She's used to bottling in her true emotions so that he wouldn't accuse her of trying to start a fight over nothing.
She isn’t used to feeling like she can be herself in front of a boy that she cares about. She isn't used to feeling accepted for all that she is, the good and the bad. She’s used to feeling cautious, quiet, hesitant, and scared to be herself.
Right now, she’s most likely feeling like you’re too good to be true, that what you have together is too good to be true. She’s having trouble believing that a guy could do nice things just because he wanted to, and not to make up for something bad that he did. It will take time. It will take patience. It will take courage to pursue a woman who has been heartbroken before, but know that it makes her that much more worth it.
Her giving you a chance is a much bigger deal than you might think. It was you that changed her mind about love existing. Despite being hurt by someone before you, she has decided that she’s willing to risk being hurt again because of you. Because she sees something incredible and amazing inside of you. You are the first person she has been open to trying again with, and that says something about you and your character. She's still learning how to trust again, so while she's doing that, trust me in telling you she's worth the extra time, the hugs, the trying to understand moments. She's worth it all, so just be patient. heart broken. There’s something in the way she smiles, the dull glimmer of her eyes that tells you someone or something has shattered her into a million, tiny pieces. If you look close enough, you can see she’s learning to piece back the fragments; and if you get close enough, you’ll see as to why.

When a girl gets her heart broken, she becomes half-herself. She feels as though the other part of her left with the one she was with or loved or wanted to love. She hates this feeling though and so she’ll make up her mind to do everything in her power to avoid such thinking. She’ll distract herself with people and things and places that she’s never met, tried, or seen before. A broken-hearted girl will do whatever it takes to protect herself from experiencing this crushing, all-consuming wave of despair ever again, but in her shattered heart of hearts know, she’d take the wreckage all again.

Because a girl with a broken heart doesn’t lie down and accept defeat forever. At some point, she gets up from the ashes of memories surrounding her, dusts herself off, and learns to walk away from a mindset that no longer suits her, or brings her happiness. A broken-hearted girl reminds herself of who she is, what she wants, and why she deserves it; and becomes the other half of herself she lost when she lost him.

A girl who’s experienced heartbreak goes out into the world and sees that all she wants she can have; and all she needs is herself to do so. She becomes a vibrant, tantalizing woman who exudes a new-found form of confidence that dazzles the fantasies of on-looking men and sparks the envy of other women around her. She forms a new whole from the hole in her heart.

But even in her mystique and self-assurance, a broken-hearted girl is still filling in her cracks. If you look close enough, you’ll see the chips in her skull from when she tried to knock the thoughts of him out of her head. If you look close enough, you’ll see there are still traces from her fall.

Because a woman who once had her heart broken can learn to forgive, yes, but she will never forget how a broken heart feels. She’ll do anything she can to show herself that next time she won’t be so naïve, or idealistic, or vulnerable, but deep down realize that isn’t the way it goes.

A once broken-hearted woman knows that all wounds, no matter how bad, heal in time and that love will come again. It will hit her like a double-decker bus when she least expects it, perhaps least needs it, but at that point, she’ll be ready. Because when a girl gets her heart broken, she becomes a woman. She learns how to fight her own battles, bandage her own cuts, but most importantly, love herself most of all. So when this woman falls in love again, she won’t let her heart break as it did before. Be rest assured, she’ll be the one to catch her fall