RELATIONSHIP GOALS
A lot of
times, your mind and heart can deceive you in your relationships. Of
course, you always have to be able to have a healthy balance of emotion
and reason with how you go about your love life, but sometimes,
imbalances are inevitable. And when these imbalances occur, they can
often be destructive on the self and on the relationship as a whole
especially when they are left unchecked. A person can become so
emotionally invested in a relationship to the point wherein the feelings
and biases can cloud one’s judgement. And when one’s reason is
impaired, it may potentially lead to manipulation and abuse.
You might
end up losing sight of your own happiness in favor of a relationship
that is just plain toxic and destructive to be in. You may end up
compromising your own sanity for a love that isn’t healthy or
legitimate.
That’s why it’s important for a lot of people in
relationships to always practice a sense of self-awareness and
self-love. Remember that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes in a
relationship. You don’t always have to be making sacrifices and
compromises for the relationship especially when it seems a little
one-sided. At the end of the day, the relationship should be making you
happy and building you up to become a better person. If it is doing the
opposite of those things, then you have to consider the possibility that
maybe this relationship isn’t right for you at all. And when you are
brave enough to come to terms with the truth that the relationship is
bad for you, you must also be brave enough to leave it. You have to have
the strength to end things and move on with your life even if it means
you being single for a little while.
So how do you know if your
relationship is a toxic one? You just have to be able to figure the
signs out. You have to stay vigilant and you can’t afford to get
complacent. Yes, you should love wholeheartedly, but that doesn’t mean
that you have to love absentmindedly. Keep your own heart and your
happiness in check by making sure to steer away from relationships that
exhibit these toxic signs:
1. Your partner exhibits passive aggressive behavior.
Passive
aggressiveness in a relationship is toxic because it shows a lack of
value for real communication. Toxic couples will resort to passive
aggressiveness to deal with their problems in an unhealthy manner.
2. You will be made to feel inferior and worthless.
In
a toxic relationship, you won’t be built up to feel like you can
conquer the world. You won’t be made to feel like you are loved and
appreciated which is weird considering you are both supposedly in love
with each other.
3. Your partner acts jealous all the time without any justifiable reason.
A
jealous partner isn’t necessarily going to be a bad thing. But when a
partner is obsessively jealous, it may imply a sense of ownership which
shouldn’t be the case. You should both be willing to trust and respect
one another to be loyal.
4. Your partner criticizes you for the sake of hurting you.
Criticism
should be welcome in a relationship so as long as it is done in good
faith. Of course, you would always be open to your partner telling you
on how you can improve. But if your partner is doing it just to make you
feel bad, then that’s just maltreatment.
5. You mostly feel isolated and alone.
In
a toxic relationship, instead of feeling like you have constant
companionship, you are going to be made to feel like you are alone and
isolated. You will be led to believe that you have no one to help you
out of the hole that you’re in.
6. Your partner looks to pick fights with you just to cause you stress.
Arguments
and fights happen in relationships all the time. But when they happen
with a certain frequency that just isn’t productive anymore, then that’s
when you know that things are getting toxic. This is especially evident
whenever arguments start becoming cyclical in nature. They seem like
they never end.
7. You don’t feel comfortable with being yourself in the relationship.
You
must always be made to feel like you can be fine with being your true
self. You should never feel pressured to hide who you really are. You
should always be encouraged to show your true colors in a relationship.
8. You feel like you have to compromise your own happiness for the sake of the relationship.
Your
own happiness should be directly connected to your relationship. The
two need not be mutually exclusive. You know that you are in a truly
toxic relationship whenever you have to choose one happiness over the
other.
9. You think more fondly of the past because you are scared of the future.
You
still cling to the memories of the past in your relationship because
they comfort you. Things aren’t going so well anymore and the future
practically frightens you.
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